8 Things The Kids Do That Drive Me Completely Bonkers


I love my kids but OMG, they have the ability to drive me completely fecking insane at times!

Here are just some of the things they do frequently that drive me nuts!

Can you relate?

  • Turning off the washing machine mid cycle. Usually you don’t realise until you think it is time to hang it out, only to find a great sopping mess and the need to do it all over again. Most of the time it is on a day when it is forecast to rain and you really needed to get it out promptly in order for it to have any chance to dry.
  • Turning on the dishwasher (‘Uffy help mummy!’) just when it has finished the dry cycle and the water pours in before you get a chance to stop it.
  • Doing poos right when you sit down with a hot cup of coffee (the first you have had all day usually). Or just when I have sat down for the night and a little head pokes around the side of the lounge door ‘Um, mummy, I have a teeny weeny big problem. I have done a big poo in my nappy, the biggest poo you have ever seen! And the colour is BROWN’. Yes, colour still fascinates my 4 year old. Sigh. And yes, he still refuses to do poos on the toilet even though he has been toilet trained on the wee front for over a year *pulling hair out*.
  • Insist on flushing the toilet while I am sitting on it. I really should start locking the door! The youngest then applauds me for going ‘waters’ and says ‘Good girl mummy!’.
  • Demand you read them a story and then turn the pages while you are attempting to read it before snatching it out of your hands and proclaiming ‘All done!’ and shoving the next one at you only to repeat the process.
  • Not listen! This was a conversation that took place at our dinner table recently that sums this point up nicely:

Cohen: Where’s daddy?
Me: At work
Finn: Is this chicken?
Mmm, yummy chicken!
Where’s daddy?
At work
Yummy chicken!
Where’s daddy?
Is this chicken?
Is daddy in the toilet?
No, he’s at work
Where’s daddy?
It’s chicken Uffy.
Daddy’s at work and it’s lasagne.
Nummy mummy, chicken!
Where’s daddy?

Half the time it’s like having dinner with two Alzheimer patients.

  • Whip open the curtains at 5.30am while announcing loudly ‘Morning mummy! It’s morning time!’ and jumping on my head. 5.30am on a Saturday is NOT morning in my opinion but I have two little boys who beg to differ.
  • Moving stuff. Ever notice how things just disappear into thin air only to be found again in the weirdest place a week later? The tongs in the bottom of their bed, the cordless phone flat at the bottom of the nappy storage bag (hence we no longer have a cordless phone!), the stray bottle outside on the trampoline … NEVER LEAVE YOUR KEYS UNATTENDED!

What are some things your kids do that drive you bonkers?

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39 thoughts on “8 Things The Kids Do That Drive Me Completely Bonkers

  1. Totally relate to this! Made me laugh out loud. I forget how tall my toddler is so relocation of anything grabbable (which is now A LOT) is infuriating. My expensive prescription sunglasses? In the flower pot in the bathroom of course. My car keys? In the toy garage (makes a little more sense). The not listening thing drives me nuts. I get “what’s that?” or “what’s that noise” a billion times a day. I respond. I get it again. Now I respond with the question “What does it sound / look like?” and when she answers that, she seems satisfied that she is helping her stupid Mummy answer an obvious question.

    Don’t get me started on the poo timing, It’s a conspiracy.



    Cat recently posted…Comment on Saturday Morning Glory by The 21st Century MamaMy Profile

    1. Welcome to my world, where a wash ends up taking three times as long and often includes: A. Lego pieces; B. Extra washing powder (like the whole box! Agh!) and C. Clean dry washing (thinks he’s helping but not so much!).

    1. I had to unplug my stereo because of that but then comes the next issue – the turned up volume knob being set to high volume when I turn it on! BOOOOM! Deafness. Much deafness. Gives me such a damn fright every time!

    1. Air vents! Gah! We don’t have any of those thankfully but we do have a hole in the wall (literally, a hole thanks to a 2 year old who has a penchant for removing door stoppers and then shoving the door open) and we were amazed what we found in there while looking for something recently! Socks, toy trains, my comb, a fork …

  2. While I can’t ever say anyone ever shouted at me at 5:30AM and they would have lived to see another day jokes, don’t know how you deal with that one I am not human before 7:30AM but the rest I am with you 100% and with two tots I get it twice daily. lol Too funny. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me, I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round. #sharewithme
    jenny recently posted…Salted Oreo Cookie Bars RecipeMy Profile

  3. “good girl mummy” ha ha! The little one always does a poo 15 minutes before Daddy is due home. It’s only acceptable to leave him in it for 10 minutes but I can’t stand the smell for any longer than 5. Guess it’s my turn again then! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

  4. My toddler loves posting things. Anything small enough to get “posted” is fair game. Phones, keys, remote controls, random bits of paper. I now have 3 identical remote control as we lose them so regularly. As soon as you buy another, the original one appears in one of my husbands shoes. Love this post, all so true. #fridayfrolics
    Helen – mess stress and fancy dress recently posted…WORMS – Eugh…..My Profile

    1. Ha! We have a few holes in the wall courtesy of my youngest removing doorstops and shoving the door knob through the door and you wouldn’t believe what we find in the holes! Thankfully he seems to have not done that for awhile and hubby is starting to fix them one by one!

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