Comments on: Teenagers & Alcohol: What Approach Will You Take?

By: Heart

Heart — Thu, 11 Feb 2016 14:53:02 +0000

Our example as parents is what the children always look up to. It is usually easy to teach them by our examples.

By: Mum in Brum

Mum in Brum — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 22:06:17 +0000

I’m pretty much with you on everything you’ve said here – I think it’s most important that our kids feel that they can be honest with us and not hide things from us – rather than trying to preach to them that alcohol is ‘bad’. As you say, it’s naive to think that teenagers won’t experiment with it and I think it’s all part of growing up. I had a similar upbringing to you and grew up thinking that alcohol is okay in moderation. Admittedly I didn’t always follow the rule (and still don’t!) but at least I didn’t feel the need to hide the parties and the hangovers from my mum and felt I could call on them if I needed to.

By: Audrey

Audrey — Mon, 08 Feb 2016 09:17:09 +0000

My parents especially my mum were pretty strict on drinking. I didn’t really drink until I was about 19 years old and by then I didn’t really see the point. I did party a bit and go on a bender not often but often enough to know that I didn’t need it to party. This post is pretty timely as I have been thinking how to approach this with my kids. I think I am more liberal than my parents but then again you never know until we are in that situation. My kids are still too young for this talk but I’m just preparing for it. Haven’t found the right strategy yet but this post definitely helped.

By: Nikki Frank-Hamilton

Nikki Frank-Hamilton — Sun, 07 Feb 2016 20:11:53 +0000

Haidee, this is such a hard question for me. I have worked in the food industry for 30 years, and I have been a bartender since I was 18 on and off. But the more we learn about addiction and mental illness the more I evolve on the topic. If there is addiction buried in the genetics this can send a teen into a spiral, and if there is hidden mental disease this can activate it. We let our kids taste alcohol so they wouldn’t be ignorant. But we do not allow them to drink it in our home until they are 21. I’m not ignorant enough to think they didn’t drink, and I’m not sure that even impending addiction or mental disease could deter adults from giving teens alcohol. I’m really not sure what the answer is. I wish I did! Great discussion, keep it up!

By: Silly Mummy

Silly Mummy — Wed, 03 Feb 2016 23:51:53 +0000

Interesting! I haven’t really considered exactly what my approach will be yet. I’m inclined to think that on most things I would like to go with not being so unrealistically strict that I am unapproachable and provoke rebellion, but not being so permissive that there is a lack of stability and structure. My background actually would fit with the findings of the study you spoke of: neither of my parents ever drank (my mum dislikes alcohol and my dad gets chronic migraines), and we were not encouraged or facilitated in becoming drinkers (though we weren’t kept under lock and key, and were allowed to go to parties, etc). Neither my sister nor I are drinkers. #WAYWOW

By: Katrin

Katrin — Wed, 03 Feb 2016 22:19:10 +0000

You know, I haven’t thought about it yet. My 11 year old just asked me today when I started drinking coffee, lol, cause that’s my addiction 😉 and asked me when she could have some. We do not drink, sometimes a glass of wine, when people come over, that’s really it. We’ve talked about it and that’s I think the most important thing, talking and explaining. I’m sure when the time comes, she’ll try and will be ready and mature enough to make the right decision. That’s what every mother wants, right! But it’s how we right now go about. Its important to have rules, but from the beginning on. Then, those rules can be bend a little here and there and they should be able to make their own mistakes as well, knowing that they can count on us parents. Uff, I could keep on going and going. Great post Haidee!

By: Michelle

Michelle — Wed, 03 Feb 2016 14:57:24 +0000

Oh, forgot, I’m visiting from #waywow

By: Michelle

Michelle — Wed, 03 Feb 2016 14:56:56 +0000

I had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol growing up. It was very contradictory for me. My father was an alcoholic and very abusive. My mother was an alcoholic and neglectful. When I was taken from them, I was put in the care of my great-aunt who absolutely forbade it, save for one sip of wine at Christmas. I wasn’t allowed to do anything when I was growing up in her house but chores and TV. I was abused there too. I did occasionally try a sip of whiskey when I stayed over a friend’s house a few times but other than that, I waited until I turned 21, then I binged like crazy. I was drinking every single night until I passed out. When I got pregnant with my oldest at 24 I stopped cold turkey and refused to allow alcohol in my house for several years. Now, I am in a great place though (thanks to a lot of therapy and healing from my childhood), so I will occasionally have a glass of wine. I love wine but I don’t have a desire to drink it all the time. I am going to a wine tasting this Friday though and I am looking forward to it. I love wine tastings. As far as my own kids, my oldest is a teenager and so far, hasn’t shown any interest in even trying alcohol. I don’t know if his Autism will affect his desire to drink in the future or not but I have opened the discussion with him. He’s only 14 so hopefully, he won’t want to try it anytime soon. My youngest will probably be the one who wants to try it when he’s older but I have a very open communication policy with both of my boys so hopefully, when he’s ready, he will come to me and we can talk about it. I’m not in the mind set of letting teenagers drink though. I know that at some point they will but it’s not something I will promote. This is a great discussion though and something that I will think about as my kids get older.

By: Haidee

Haidee — Wed, 03 Feb 2016 08:59:54 +0000

It sounds like your kids are taking after you Debbie, the fact your daughter told you reminds me of the relationship I had with my mum. I think you’re on the right track!

By: Haidee

Haidee — Wed, 03 Feb 2016 08:58:19 +0000

It is a complicated issue, I completely agree! I think the drinking culture is even worse now than when I was a teen isn’t it? Or is it better? I truly have no idea!