The Anti-Fitness Queen

That is me. The anti-fitness queen. The girl who got her mum to write notes to get out of PE, who happily opted for detention if it meant getting out of it, who would pretend to be sick to avoid the high school sports day.

These days you are only likely to ever see me run if I am about to be run over by a bus crossing the road and the last time that happened I couldn’t walk properly for days as my legs screamed in protest and the muscles locked up in my calves as tight as Fort Knox.

This is how I feel about the idea of any kind of strenuous exercise which would be pretty much anything with the exception of walking:

Feel free to substitute that for stronger language

But it wasn’t always like that.

I can’t remember exactly when things changed but I think it probably coincided with the discovery of boys and with that, the self-consciousness adolescent girls get when it comes to things that are clearly not their strong point for fear of looking like a complete idiot in front of the boy of the week. I have never been what one would call coordinated (ha!), my head was always a magnet for the ball, I was the girl ducking if it came her way instead of trying to catch it (heaven forbid since I would strategically find the spot in the field the ball was least likely to be hit to!) and somehow it ALWAYS hit me! It’s become a thing. I’m scared of balls (any male reading this, get your head out of the gutter! ROUND balls. Bouncy balls … ok, forget it, have your laugh!).

Moving on …

I remember being talked into playing badminton at high school by my friends (some friends they were!) and for some reason I relented. I should have stood my ground. I was the girl sunbathing on the tennis court while the more sport inclined of my friends played netball or whatever it was they wanted to play that didn’t involve me. I look back and cringe with embarrassment. Clearly I am a sucker for punishment. And there weren’t even any cute guys to perve at so really, I sucked at it and there wasn’t even any side novelty factor or eye candy! Not that my badminton hitting missing skills would have garnered much male attention. Come to think of it, not sure badminton playing males would have been my cup of tea either, I was more a rugby player kinda gal (and married a surfer – go figure!).

I did however know how to do a flip on the trampoline! But um yeah, I made a red faced attempt at that in front of the neighbours the day after we bought the boys their tramp for Christmas. It turns out being 16 and doing a forward flip on the tramp vs being 32 and doing attempting a forward flip are two entirely different things! All I can say is OUCH. And shame. What is it about a brand new trampoline for the kids making us do the stupidist shit, revisiting our childhood flexibility in our imagination and then attempting to do it like we are still skinny little minx with no fear and a lot more rubber in our bodies than currently exists? Admit it, I’m not the only one right? You tried it too didn’t you? Go on, admit it! You DID!

The thing is though, the older I get the more I realise that the only way to stay slim in my 30’s is to exercise. Now, as I said before, this is not my strong point (really Haidee? I think they got that part!). The most exciting part about this new plan is the idea of kitting out a new wardrobe. I bought some real (proper real, like real real) sneakers last year that I wore, um, ahem … once or twice? With a skirt cos that’s how I roll.


I’m setting a trend.

Ok, so clearly a skirt and sneakers is perhaps NOT what one might wear to exercise. I figure if I look the part then I will have more success with this idea of exercising. Not that I plan to run. Walking I can do.

Is it still counted as exercise if I am dressed the part and walking with a flat white in my hand (make that a TRIM flat white, cos ya know that would be more appropriate right?). Yes? No? Maybe? Baby steps people, baby steps!

This year I went into true hibernation mode. I just cannot be bothered and as the cold set in I got worse. I have taken on a lot of admin stuff at my work which requires me to sit half the day happily blobbed out in front of the computer with my little fan heater blasting me from one metre away (ok, half a metre) wrapping me in a cocoon of warmth and laziness. This has not been good for me!

I talked about how I was going to start my walking again in my post The 12 Year Anniversary – A Time For Change and I ah, haven’t. Yet. But if I want to wear a swimsuit to the beach and the pools like I talked about in Food For Thought Friday: Body Image then I need to get my A into G because summer is actually not that far away! We’re only 140 days away from Christmas (you’re welcome!).

I need to get moving! Walking moving. Bouncing moving (trampoline bouncing moving). I just need to do it!

Are you allergic to exercise? Do you find you are now at a point in adulthood that you just have no choice but to HAVE to do it? Or do you enjoy it and find it comes naturally?


30 thoughts on “The Anti-Fitness Queen

    1. I know right Rebecca! Gee, and like running in my nice shoes?! I don’t think so! Now, what is a 7 minute HIT workout because I like the sound of 7 minutes of torture being enough? 😉

  1. I hate nearly all exercise for many of the reasons you mentioned. Awkward, uncoordinated ball magnet perfectly discribes me. I also have a chest that was never designed for running of any sort. I do love swimming though. I am like walrus, cumbersome on land, but a mover in the water.

    1. Haha Tracey, I love that description! I am also an awkward uncoordinated ball magnet. We could make that a hashtag #awkwarduncoordinatedballmagnet – I like it!

  2. Hey! Visiting you from Blog Beautiful! I was totally the same way when I was younger. I would make up all kinds of bizarre stuff to get out of gym! But then I found climbing a few years ago, and it feels more like a game, and it’s fun, and I just HAPPEN to be getting a workout.

  3. Oh Haidee. The Anti-Fitness Queen, Haidee. I am the opposite sorry. Well, I used to be anyway. I was the Sports Queen in my school. So we probably wouldn’t have gotten on back then. Loved every sport. Still do, but I just don’t get to do it much anymore. I will exercise, but as long as it’s a competition. None of this work out crap to make your body toned….I just want to win against someone else!!! Showing my true self here 😉
    Kelly recently posted…GETTING MY STYLE ONMy Profile

    1. Hahaha, well I was friends with lots of sporty people including two who went on to be All Blacks so we probably still would have got on, I just wouldn’t have been playing anything against you! I was like the odd one out in that regard, most of my friends were really into their sport and I just sat on the sideline cheering them on 😉

  4. Thanks for making me laugh Haidee. I totally relate to the whole high school PE and sports carnival avoidance tactics. I was rarely sick as a teen, but around sports carnival time I always managed to catch something – and it wasn’t a ball! 😉 I walk most mornings now, mainly because we have a dog who begs to be taken out and exercised (probably a good thing).

    I saw a post on FB recently that said, “I don’t run. If you see me running, you should run too because something BIG is probably chasing me!” Ha ha ha…
    Lyndall recently posted…Revealing the Gold Coast’s best-kept secretsMy Profile

    1. Hahaha! I posted that on FB the second I saw it too! And I love that ‘I always caught something and it wasn’t a ball’. Bahaha! My workmates give me so much shit for never being able to catch the pens they toss me all the time cos I’m ALWAYS losing mine.

  5. I pretty much hated sport growing up, although I was quite good at tennis, gold and squash looking back. It was running and anything that was ‘hard work’ that I didn’t like. then in my 20s and 30s I discovered gym, yoga, walking on the beach, and classes and fell in love with those … I really need to get back into that again. I’m not the most co-ordinated person these days – having kids seemed to do something to my centre of gravity – so I think walking is a start.
    Bronnie – Maid In Australia recently posted…Mens Rings Online – Product ReviewMy Profile

    1. I need to try something new to fall in love with. I used to love roller blading (believe it or not, I was a whizz on those things!) but my balance is not what it used to be!

  6. I’m an average exerciser… if I wasn’t always trying in vain to lose a few kilos, I’m sure I would do a lot less. And yet, I do feel so much better when do exercise, I’ve done very little the last few months and I can really feel the difference, just feel creaky and sluggish!

  7. I’m a bit allergic. I would prefer to not have to exercise. I have always opted for things that don’t feel like I’m exercising like walking, yoga, dancing etc.
    I’m very happy being in my post baby coma where I don’t feel obliged to exercise. It might last a decent length of time, I think.
    Vicki @ Knocked Up and Abroad recently posted…The Femur Who BrokeMy Profile

  8. I love the idea of doing exercise. It is a must for us to stay fit and healthy. But I admit, I’m not consistent. That’s the part I still need to work on.

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