I’ve certainly never been without my moments of ditz (refer to I have a Confession … My Blondest Moments Exposed) but since having children those moments have risen substantially to the point that I have a story for almost every occasion.
Not only do I have increasing numbers of embarrassing moments to recount, I also have trouble with the simplest tasks. Like remembering whether I washed my hair the day before. Or was it the day before that? Something so simple that I struggle with on a daily basis. I try to remember but I just draw a total blank. Do I remember lathering shampoo in my hair? Combing through the conditioner? I should be able to recall something like this in an instant but … complete blank. I just cannot. Washing my hair ever second day should not be this complicated! My memory is like a sieve. Names, faces …
Have you ever heard of face blindness? Well I swear I have it. It’s become a running joke at work how I will serve a customer, wander off for 5-10 minutes to do their job, come back and not recognise which customer it was I was serving. I’ll have to whisper to a colleague ‘Which one was mine?’ in order to avoid total humiliation. If I was quizzed on what the customer before them had looked like, I wouldn’t have a clue. I just do not retain faces. To be fair, I had this issue prior to children so I cannot blame them entirely for this lack of recognition.
The worst case of this was one time when a foreign lady came into work with all her important security papers for copying – passports, visas, birth certificates, the whole shebang. I took them and told her to come back. An hour or so later she returned and my workmate served her. Her English wasn’t the best but she was trying to tell him she had come for her papers.
He asked us all if we had served her ‘No, not me’ ‘Nope’. So he told her she must be mistaken.
‘But I need them!’
‘Sorry, we don’t have them’
‘But I need them! They my papers! I need them, very important!’
‘Well, I’m really sorry but I’m afraid we don’t have them. You must be mistaken’
Twenty minutes of this roundabout conversation later (by this time she was crying) I suddenly realised that I had served her! And she was thankfully reunited with her special important papers while I ran and hid.
I have never (nor will I ever!) live it down.
This is a recurring theme at work. I’ll answer the phone these days and take a message. ‘Jim called, here’s the number’ so they’ll call and it will turn out his name was not Jim at all, it was Ian!
I just cannot retain the simplest things.
I’ve tried those mind games you can get on your phone that are supposed to help you with your memory but it doesn’t seem to have done much. Add alcohol to the mix and my mind is mush. I had 6 wines on Saturday night and then stared blankly at a technician yesterday afternoon as he said something to me that I just couldn’t quite comprehend. It took me a few moments to click what he was saying as my mind just seems to take an age to catch up with itself.
Last week I managed a real doozy. Somehow I enrolled my husband in primary school. Yes, you read that right. I filled in an online form and sent it off before receiving a reply to say they would be delighted to have Hayden join them at their school next year! I have no idea how I managed to substitute Cohen for Hayden but somehow I did. Firstly they probably wondered why someone named Haidee would have a son and name him Hayden but then I had to email the principal back and say ‘Oh no, I’m sorry! Hayden is my husband! Haha! Isn’t that hilarious! I meant Cohen! Ha!’. They probably don’t know if they want him at their school now with a mother like that (though thankfully she saw the funny side!).
I’m sincerely hoping that when the musical beds phase passes my memory and alertness might start to get better. I’m not entirely sure when the last time was I had a peaceful sleep that lasted all night. Peaceful, restful, uninterrupted. My sleep these days is restless, full of tossing and turning and moments of alertness. Every night I will feel a presence next to my bed and open my eyes to find a little boy staring at me.
‘Mummy it’s me, Cohen. I’m not a monster!’.
He will then climb in my bed and my husband will climb out and go to the sofa. By morning there are two little boys in the bed and I’ll have enough space for a broom while they lay spread eagled and snoring their asses of, content and comfortable while I literally move an inch and fall out of bed. Sometimes they don’t even sleep in the bed but rather they just crash on top.
Do you suppose this contributes to the dying brain cells?
Tomorrow I am off to get some fish oil tablets for mental alertness. It’s time to get serious. Supplement serious. Lubricate the brain with fish oil serious.
Does anyone else have any tips? Is your brain fried too? Do you have good facial recognition?
Linking up with #IBOT @ Essentially Jess
Do you like this post? Pop on over and join me on Facebook!
Not sure if it’s fried brain or over button pushing….
Lydia C. Lee recently posted…Eternity
Haha, over button pushing.
I have totally just started on fish oil for this reason. I love that you enrolled hubby in school by the way- gold! I’m not sure if the fish oil works but my advice is to get your husband to remind you to take them. If you’re anything like me, you’ll forget otherwise!
Amy @ Handbagmafia recently posted…Being A Step Parent
Haha. My hubby will be too busy going to school to remind me! How embarrassing huh?! LOL
Omg that is hysterical. I have definitely lost brain cells over the years. My retention is horrible and sometimes I forget actual words (like what is that thing called that does x). My kids are 10 and 12 and I started fish oil last year lol.
Deb @ inner compass designs recently posted…A to Z of intentional living – W is for …
I always forget words too! It’s embarrassing when I’m with a client and I’m standing there stumbling over what I am trying to say. Has it helped you?
Oh yes my brain has turned to mush! I struggle with the most basic life tasks! I blame sleep deprivation and having too much to do. Let me know if the fish oil helps!
Mumma McD recently posted…Oh shit, we’ve got nits!
Ditto. Will do! If I remember! 😉
Enrolling your husband into primary school is gold! Didn’t know fish oil helped in these matters….might pick up a bottle this afternoon 😉
Josefa @always Josefa recently posted…Ten More Summers
Do Josefa! We can start at the same time, I’ll race ya to a better memory! That is if I remember to check in with you later … 😉
Oh that is so funny enrolling your husband lol!
I too am so hopeless with names and faces. Even with people I have known for years I always get nervous hoping I’ve got their name right!
JodiGibson (@JFGibsonWriter) recently posted…Book Review: Big Magic
Me too Jodi! Phew, I am so relieved it’s not just me!
Hahaha! Gold! I can totally relate to this 🙂 The other day I went a total blank on the name of the kid I was trying to call outside – I just went through all the names of our family members (and pets) until someone responded! I think I should get some fish oil too – do they do mum discounts?!
Emma @ Life, kids and a glass of red recently posted…Help a mum in need and donate nappies
They should totally do mum discounts. Should I suggest it? Discounts for bulk orders! Haha.
You’re a crack up!
Also I find it ridiculously cute that your names are Haidee and Hayden.
EssentiallyJess recently posted…Practice Safe Selfies #IBOT
Hehe, it was planned Jess, totally planned 😉
I’ve never heard of face blindness. Huh. I think I might have that too.
Google it! It’s a real thing! Brad Pitt has it too so we’re in good company 😉
BAHAHAHHAHHAHA to enrolling your husband at school!! I’m with Amy – time to start mainlining fish oil.
Hugzilla recently posted…Seven Signs You’re Dealing With a Crazy Cat Lady
Maybe I should have an ad on my sidebar! Haha. I could get rich!
I’m so glad I’m not the only one! For years I’ve blamed it on being blonde, baby brain … now I’ll have to start calling it senior moments … ouch!
#teamIBOT x
Janet aka Middle Aged Mama recently posted…40 Days Without Shopping!
Senior moments! Haha. I just blame my hair colour and my children 😉
I seem to forget so many conversations… I hear berocca is good for memory… But then I also heard wine was too.. Lol
Natalie @ our parallel connection recently posted…I am no longer the most important person in her life
I’ve been having Berocca every day! If that is good for memory then I hate to think what I would be like without it!
haha I love that you enrolled your hubby in primary school! sometimes they do act a lot like 5 year olds I suppose 🙂 I swear I have permanent baby brain now too!
lu @looking for mama me recently posted…10 great things to do with a toddler in Sydney!
Yes, indeed they do Lu! Ha! Maybe it’ll teach him something 😉
Yes! The bed hop completely contributes to daftness. I am also a prime example. Literally as I type I could fall asleep yet I pour myself another cup of tea and keep frying those cells.
Karin @ Calm to Conniption recently posted…Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award
Friggin bed hopping. Deep breaths! I’m off to make my third coffee and it’s only 7.45am.
I used to be a pro at remembering everything and then I had my son and I blamed baby brain, but almost 4 years later I definitely cannot blame that..I blame busyness now and I think the only cure for that is a holiday!
Eva @ The Multitasking Mummy recently posted…How I made a full-time income from my blog  Â
Busyness and mummy brain I reckon!
I’m hearing you, on every single word, I’m hearing you! I think mine has a lot to do with years upon years of sleep deprivation, you just can’t get that back. But I wouldn’t change anything in the world. I love my girls and time with them is priceless, as corny as that sounds. I have started taking fish oil and Vitamin D too! Plus dry shampoo is absolutely fabulous for those mornings when I realise I really should have washed my hair that day but didn’t have the time … or can’t recall when I did so last 😉
Erika @ Ever-changing Life of a Mum recently posted…Putting my dishwasher to the test with Finish + giveaway
What scares me is how much of this I do …and I don’t have kids to blame it on haha. Do dogs work as a blame game/excuse? 🙂
Vanessa recently posted…What Happens When You Meet Your Idol
I can’t remember people’s names in my family – my brain is fried after having two under two {and my husband thinks it is time to start trying for a third}. Your bed situation sounds just like mine…although my youngest just cries from the cot for me to come in and pick him up.
Shari from GoodFoodWeek recently posted…Recipe: Quick lentils with lamb
Sounds like me back in the day Shari. I had 2 under 2 as well (17 month gap).
Oh my gosh yes!! Brain officially fried… More like scrambled!! I definately blame it on lack of sleep & baby brain that’s just never gone away… Ahhhh kids hey, look at what they’ve reduced us to!!
Tell me about it. Last night I forgot to put a nappy on my son when I put him to bed! He’s day trained but not night. Needless to say there was a distressed little boy at my bedside around 1am this morning!
I used to have an amazing memory before kids. Now I have to write everything down or I’ll forget. Kids have a lot to answer for…
Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted…ACL Recovery – Month One
Same! I have little notes all through my phone.